2011 New Year resolutions

Dear Friends,

With a hearty and sincere farewell to 2010 (may you never return...), I thought it might be fun to share a few of my New Year resolutions for 2011 with you.

1. Avoid evangelists (religious or any other kind of sales). Anyone who tries to evangelize knows nothing of the downside of the evangelist spirit, and probably didn't check in with you. In fact, if you meet an evangelist, leave immediately. Go next door, where your neighbor is preparing for the next Hell's Angels run to South Dakota. Keep your self respect.

2. Hydrate - it's the new PC word for drinking water. Hydrate with as much tap water as possible. And quickly. It's rapidly becoming a rare commodity. You can no longer find natural potable sources in Africa or developing 3d world countries. In the USA and Europe, it's politely offered in small plastic bottles. Drink up! For the frat boy or sorority girl in you, every sip is a great pre-drinking binge and post-hangover tonic (I'm not advocating a binge ... my champagne dealer tells me she prepares for a cocktail party by seriously hydrating an hour before). For the organic fashionista - nothing is more organic than pure H20. In fact, it's an heirloom thing our ancestors enjoyed before we were ever a twinkle ... It's a treat. Enjoy. Have a glass for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's 2011! Stay healthy.

3. If something comes with fringe benefits, use it. That's the entire point of fringe benefits. Fringe benefits do not come alone, they come as a gift, or a bribe, or something given to you by mistake. But, they're yours to enjoy, and are supposed to be a good thing. Ask questions later. Make lots of friends, who knows, there might be a fringe benefit to that too, and you'll get more the next time around if you're really good. Enjoy the benefits. Stay friends. Repeat. Be good.

4. As for traditional resolutions, like getting back into shape, losing weight, tracking your gas mileage, opening a savings account, scheduling that botox or nose job appointment, always ask and consider: Why bother? Is it worth the pain? Be honest.

5. Do not check in with your best friend for matching New Year's resolutions in an effort to support your new resolutions. The whole point of making resolutions each year is to break them, feel guilty, and suffer all year long with whatever character you have left. Your friends will feel better about knowing you, as they're doing the same thing. And you can have lots of fun with your friends and enjoy being naughty. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you check out the malls or your favorite stores between now and the end of January. You can do that in April when taxes are due and you won't have any money to spend. Now is the time for long walks with your dog, which you'll need after having circled the many Christmas buffet tables you were invited to, and partying all night long on New Year's Eve. Enjoy the fresh air and the company of your dog. Soon you'll locked up in your office again, and no one will love you so much as man's best friend. Be smart.

7. If you come across something really tempting during your walk with Fido outside (it's possible you live next to Union Square and the Saks Fifth Avenue windows are irresistible - they'll let Fido in, they luv dogs!) like that must-have bottle of perfume, Italian shoes, diamond earrings (didn't get what you wanted for Christmas, huh?), or necessary tech toy, position yourself near your target and don't budge. Check the credit limits left on your plastic, discreetly riffle the paper in your wallet, and pretend to text-message, as you review your smart phone bank balance. You'll soon be the center of attention, before you know it, with many new friends. Be kind to yourself.

8. Same for books. Magazines. Posters. Anything in print. Grab one of each. Or if you don't like posters, grab two magazines and a book. Always have three. When else do you get to seriously think about your future? Labor Day? This is perfectly justifiable because you're feeding your intellect (you bought GQ or Vogue? Well, aren't you the fashion savvy one, huh?!)

9. Did someone mention friends? Granted, they're loaded with the mandatory (occasionally, celebratory) obligations, but avoid new ones at all cost. I mean, have some standards. Treasure your old friends, after all, they are your old friends for a reason. Same with family. Avoid the newbies, make them earn their stripes.

10. Lastly: If you don't feel terribly noble when you're done making your New Year's resolutions list or finish reading this, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over and hurry. 2011 began today, and 2012 is just around the corner.

Remember these thoughts to live by:

  • Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. Soren Kierkegaard
  • In life and business, there are two cardinal sins.. The first is to act precipitously without thought and the second is to not act at all. Carl Icahn

I'm looking forward to a terrific future and our continued friendship.

Happy New Year! Best wishes for Joy and Prosperity in 2011!!